Death Note (Netflix Review)

15 – 100mins – 2017


 

LIGHT-MARE SCENARIO

“I have a Death God.”

Following his Hollywood breakthrough with 2011’s superb horror hit You’re Next, young auteur Adam Wingard established himself as a compelling new voice of the grisly genre. His credentials were further strengthened as a proponent of anthology pieces such as V/H/S (although he had no hand in the god-awful threequel, reviewed HERE) and The ABCs of Death, while 2014’s The Guest showed there was more to his talent than merely scarlet sauce, shrieks and scares.

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The Hitman’s Bodyguard (Cinema Review)

15 – 118mins – 2017


TRIGGER SCRAPPY

“It’s my job to keep you out of harm’s way.”

“Shit, motherfucker, I am harm’s way!”

Hollywood heavyweights Ryan Deadpool Reynolds and Kong: Skull Island‘s Samuel L. Jackson bring buddy cop bantz to this darkly violent contemporary action comedy which feels like a very blatant attempt to channel the iconic tone of 18-rated 80s classic Lethal Weapon. But excessive injury detail and profuse bad language do not a successful film for adult audiences makes.

… Keep Scuttling!

Kindergarten Cop 2 (DVD Review)

12 – 96mins – 2016


 

CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCE

“Let’s put the mac and cheese back on the stove and get this playdate started!”

KC2 is a most curious thing. Watched in isolation away from the early 90s Arnold Schwarzenegger classic it follows on from, it is a perfectly competent, if lightweight, action-comedy which once again trades on the dichotomy between a hulking, stone-faced FBI agent (step up Dolph Lundgren) and a gaggle of hyperactive, allergy-aware, accident prone pre-schoolers.

… Keep Scuttling!

Aladdin The Musical (Live Review)

Prince Edward Theatre, London – A Delfont Mackintosh Theatre

Official Website – Box Office (Booking until February 2018)


 

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH

As a much-watched and much-adored film in my youth, the recently-opened West End production of Disney’s animated classic Aladdin has been on my “must see” list since it made the move from Broadway to UK shores in June of last year. After far fewer than “One Thousand and One Nights,” I was fortunate enough to take a magic carpet ride to London’s Prince Edward Theatre last week for a weekday evening performance of this magical musical extravaganza.

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Atomic Blonde (Cinema Review)

15 – 115mins – 2017


 

DECEIVE THE DECEIVER

Michael Jackson’s golden era, the Star Wars sequels, Red Dwarf‘s early years, Tetris… and me. The 1980s produced some of my all-time favourite things. Yet new spy thriller Atomic Blonde is proof that even the most nostalgic can have too much of a good thing.

… Keep Scuttling!

Annabelle: Creation (Cinema Review)

15 – 110mins – 2017


 

TOY STORY OF TERROR

With my recent rewatch of 2014’s unfairly-maligned Annabelle (reviewed HERE) still haunting my memory, I tentatively headed to the cinema ALONE to see the new and far more warmly-received prequel to a prequel, directed this time around by David F. Sandberg, who recently sent shivers down my spine in short film-expanded horror feature Lights Out.

… Keep Scuttling!

Annabelle (DVD Review)

15 – 95mins – 2014


 

DEVIL’S WELCOME

“It cannot truly ever be destroyed…”

Set before but filmed after James Wan’s 2013 horror hit The Conjuring (the sequel of which I reviewed HERE), Annabelle is the creepy doll-centric spin-off which has recently been given a Creation story, now in cinemas nationwide, which itself is set before but filmed after Wish Upon director John R. Leonetti’s period frightener.

… Keep Scuttling!

Jaws: The Revenge (Blu-ray Review)

12 – 90mins – 1987


 

THIS TIME IT’S PERISHABLE

My overriding takeaway from watching this great white four-quel in my youth was one of complete astonishment: astonishment at how poor the shark looked despite being made 12years after Spielberg’s Oscar-winning original; astonishment at the laughable number of movie magic-ruining continuity errors; astonishment that original star Lorraine Gary and megastar Michael Caine were happy to have their names attributed to such a sorry production. Even as a child I knew this was so-bad-it’s-hilarious.

… Keep Scuttling!

Table 19 (DVD Review)

12 – 87mins – 2017


 

ACCEPTS WITH PLEASURE REGRET

“It’s the same wedding no matter what table you’re at, right?”

Demoted from maid of honour duties at her oldest friend’s wedding after she is ingloriously dumped by the bride’s brother – and the best man – just two months prior to the big day, Eloise McGarry (Anna Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Kendrick) is nevertheless determined to hold her head up high and still attend the reception. She begins to regret her decision, however, when she finds herself seated waaaay back at Table 19, near the toilets. A table populated by reluctantly-invited guests who really should have known to decline by RSVP.

… Keep Scuttling!

THE HANDMAID’S TALE, 1.7 – “The Other Side” (TV Review)

Channel 4 – 9pm – Sunday 9th July 2017

Teleplay by: Lynn Renee Maxcy

Series created by: Bruce Miller – Based on the novel by: Margaret Atwood

Directed by: Floria Sigismondi


 

COLLECTING STRAYS

Last week we deviated from June/Offred’s (Elisabeth Moss) tale by flashing back to her new mistress’s life pre-Gilead. In episode 7 of this ten-part Hulu/MGM adaptation, our eponymous handmaid is even more of a bit-part player as the fate of her estranged husband, Luke (O-T Fagbenle), is presented to us.

… Keep Scuttling!