STAR TREK: DISCOVERY, 1.3 – “Context is for Kings” (Netflix Review)

Streaming on UK Netflix from: Monday 2nd October 2017

Story by: Bryan Fuller, Gretchen J. Berg and Aaron Harberts

Teleplay by: Gretchen J. Berg, Aaron Harberts and Craig Sweeny

Directed by: Akiva Goldsman


 

ENTER: ME

“Sometimes down is up, up is down. Sometimes when you’re lost, you’re found.”

For the second time in its first three instalments, Star Trek: Discovery has a ‘pilot’ episode, as 1.3 shoots forward six months from the USS Shenzhou’s clash with the Klingons and Captain Georgiou’s death, following Michael Burnham’s (Sonequa Martin-Green) heavily-contested and unorthodox efforts to save the ship, her captain and crew. Now, the woman who will not reply to “Mickey” is a silent, resigned, person-adverse prisoner being transferred to do mining work to help the Federation’s war effort.

… Keep Scuttling!

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STAR TREK: DISCOVERY, 1.1 – “The Vulcan Hello” (Netflix Review)

Streaming on UK Netflix from: Monday 25th September 2017

Story by: Bryan Fuller and Alex Kurtzman

Teleplay by: Akiva Goldsman and Bryan Fuller

Directed by: David Semel


 

LIGHT THE BEACON

“They are coming.”

After a century of only fleeting interaction between the Starfleet of Earth and the warriors of the Klingon Empire, a war is on the horizon as the Klingons pursue a “crusade of self-preservation” against those who purport to “come in peace.” Captain Philippa Georgiou’s (Michelle Mechanic: Resurrection Yeoh) USS Shenzhou is the Federation starship which first encounters the oncoming storm…

… Keep Scuttling!

Transformers: The Last Knight (Cinema Review)

12A – 149mins – 2017 – 3D


 

PIECE OF SCRAP

I know it’s lazy to deride Michael Bay’s bloated brigade of big ‘bot battle blockbusters, but boy is this fifth Transformers film a rotten piece of shit! I realise that isn’t a very erudite (or polite) way to kickstart a review, but I’m not editing it for two reasons: Firstly, multi-millionaire Bay, producers Paramount and Hasbro Studios won’t care what The CR@Bpendium thinks of their gallizion dollar expanded-universe franchise – people will still turn out in droves. Secondly, given the amount of bad language that litters this light-hearted adapted-from-toys summer sequel, apparently kids are down with the swearz these days, too?! So the shit stays where it is.

… Keep Scuttling!

Rings (DVD Review)

15 – 102mins – 2017


 

COPY AND WASTE

Gore Verbinski’s 2002 remake of the Japanese supernatural horror classic Ringu (1998) kick-started a Western surge in popularity for “J-horror” and established lank-haired, TV-emerging Samara as an icon of the genre. That it has taken 12 years since 2005 follow-up The Ring Two to continue the Hollywood-ified franchise is surprising, particularly as interest seemed to remain at least temperate, but Rings’ disappointing box office gross is testament to the rule that no matter how long you take to “perfect” a sequel, sometimes they just aren’t required.

… Keep Scuttling!

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (Cinema Review)

12A – 126mins – 2017 – 3D


 

THE MAN FROM C.A.M.E.L.O.T.

The sword in the stone, the Lady in the Lake, the Knights of the Round Table… You think you know the legend, but certainly not told like this. Lock Stock and Snatch director Guy Ritchie brings his own, erm, ineffable and idiosyncratic style to the oft-told story of the medieval British leader whose historical biography has long been entwined with mythical embellishments, magic and Merlin.

… Keep Scuttling!