Critters (Amazon Prime Review)

15 – 85mins – 1986


 

FURRY FANGED FOOTBALLS

The Brown family’s rural Kansas farmhouse is about to become the chomping ground of a horde of hungry, malevolent alien vermin in this quintessentially 80s sci-fi/horror comedy, which plays out like Gremlins meets Ghoulies – with a multitude of iconic pop culture references thrown in for good measure!

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Transformers: The Last Knight (Cinema Review)

12A – 149mins – 2017 – 3D


 

PIECE OF SCRAP

I know it’s lazy to deride Michael Bay’s bloated brigade of big ‘bot battle blockbusters, but boy is this fifth Transformers film a rotten piece of shit! I realise that isn’t a very erudite (or polite) way to kickstart a review, but I’m not editing it for two reasons: Firstly, multi-millionaire Bay, producers Paramount and Hasbro Studios won’t care what The CR@Bpendium thinks of their gallizion dollar expanded-universe franchise – people will still turn out in droves. Secondly, given the amount of bad language that litters this light-hearted adapted-from-toys summer sequel, apparently kids are down with the swearz these days, too?! So the shit stays where it is.

… Keep Scuttling!

DOCTOR WHO, 10.9 – “Empress of Mars” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:35pm – Saturday 10th June 2017

Written by: Mark Gatiss

Directed by: Wayne Yip


 

THE WAY OF THE WARRIOR

“Sod this for a game of soldiers!”

My overdue run of current series Doctor Who reviews rattles on with this historical military altercation – set in the caverns beneath the surface of the Red Planet! “Empress of Mars” is the first episode in a month not to feature the audience-dividing alien Monks (my opinions on which can be read by clicking 10.6, 10.7 and 10.8), and it sees a sharp step backwards in assimilating gormless assistant Nardole (Matt Lucas) into the main body of the story.

… Keep Scuttling!

DOCTOR WHO, 10.8 – “The Lie of the Land” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:35pm – Saturday 3rd June 2017

Written by: Toby Whithouse

Directed by: Wayne Yip


 

FAKE NEWS CENTRAL

“Humanity is doomed to never learn from its mistakes.”

One downfall of being tardy to the party with watching a programme as popular and hotly-debated as Doctor Who is that unless I avoid twitter for the weekend, I will invariably end up with a rough consensus of the public’s opinion of each episode, a week before I see it. Combining the cool general response to “The Lie of the Land” with my own inauspicious reaction to “The Pyramid at the End of the World” (10.7), it’s fair to say my excitement for this finale to the Monk’s trilogy was somewhat subdued.

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DOCTOR WHO, 10.7 – “The Pyramid at the End of the World” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:25pm – Saturday 27th May 2017

Written by: Peter Harness and Steven Moffat

Directed by: Daniel Nettheim


 

BRINGING IT

The Doctor may have rumbled the planet-wide VR simulation used by the desiccated coven of alien Monks to prepare their invasion of Earth last week (see my review of 10.6 “Extremis” HERE), but he didn’t vanquish them. And now they are back, bringing with them a 5,000-year-old pyramid which suddenly appears in the desert of Turmezistan – their invasion has begun and the countdown clock to global catastrophe is closing in on midnight!

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DOCTOR WHO, 10.6 – “Extremis” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:25pm – Saturday 20th May 2017

Written by: Steven Moffat

Directed by: Daniel Nettheim


 

WHAT LIES BENEATH

Well I certainly wasn’t expecting that. After setting up what was presumed to be a season-long mystery in “The Pilot” and teasing it in each subsequent episode, we were casually made privy to who was inside the vault the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) has sworn to guard at this innocuous mid-series point. I’m a week late in getting my “Extremis” review posted, but I will still warn those even tardier than I that SPOILERS FOLLOW, so continue at your own risk…

… Keep Scuttling!

Midnight Special (DVD Review)

Image result for midnight special

12 – 111mins – 2016


 

CULT ENCOUNTERS OF THE ABSURD KIND

Sometimes critically commended films can disappoint you on a personal level. Sometimes even films which, on paper, sound exactly like something you typically adore, can leave you cold. Sadly, rising director Jeff Nichol’s sullen sci-fi drama (and his breakout studio hit following the indie success of 2012’s Matthew McConaughey-led Mud) manages the dubious honour of a double-whammy for me.

… Keep Scuttling!