Table 19 (DVD Review)

12 – 87mins – 2017


 

ACCEPTS WITH PLEASURE REGRET

“It’s the same wedding no matter what table you’re at, right?”

Demoted from maid of honour duties at her oldest friend’s wedding after she is ingloriously dumped by the bride’s brother – and the best man – just two months prior to the big day, Eloise McGarry (Anna Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Kendrick) is nevertheless determined to hold her head up high and still attend the reception. She begins to regret her decision, however, when she finds herself seated waaaay back at Table 19, near the toilets. A table populated by reluctantly-invited guests who really should have known to decline by RSVP.

… Keep Scuttling!

The Big Sick (Cinema Review)

15 – 124mins – 2017


 

BEST SEEN COLD

While The Big Sick’s reputation precedes it, literally all I knew about this acclaimed indie rom-com prior to last night’s Cineworld Unlimited cardholder preview screening was that critics were raving about it Stateside, and it co-starred Ruby Sparks herself, quirky cutie Zoe Kazan.

… Keep Scuttling!

GLOW – Season One (Netflix Review)

All 10 episodes streaming from: Friday 23rd  June 2017

Created by: Liz Flahive and Carly Mensch

Executive producers: Liz Flahive, Carly Mensch, Jenji Kohan and Tara Herrmann


 

GIRL-ON-GIRL

                “Is this real?”

                “Who the fuck cares?”

Community cutie Alison Brie headlines this fictionalised account of the 1985 formation of the syndicated female wrestling promotion, the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (or G.L.O.W. for short), which was highly publicised as being from the creator of Orange is the New Black. While Jenji Kohan does have an executive producer credit, GLOW’s creator duo – Liz Flahive and Carly Mensch – also have previous industry experience as writers of high profile US shows such as Weeds, Homeland and Nurse Jackie.

… Keep Scuttling!

Spider-Man: Homecoming (Cinema Review)

12A – 133mins – 2017 – 3D


 

TURN OFF THE STARK

After five blockbuster movies taking place over two unrelated movie-verses with two separate casts and crews – all of which were released in the space of just twelve years – Marvel Comic’s friendly neighbourhood web-slinger has finally come home, in his first solo Marvel Cinematic Universe adventure following a triumphant cursory cameo in 2016’s Civil War.

… Keep Scuttling!

Baby Driver (Cinema Review)

15 – 113mins – 2017


 

THE FAULT IN OUR EARS

Baby (Ansel The Fault In Our Stars Elgort) is a talented getaway driver who relies upon the beat of his iPod soundtrack to drown out his tinnitus and focus his acute reflexes behind the wheel. In debt to heist mastermind Doc (Kevin Spacey) for a mistake he made in his youth, Baby is counting down the jobs until his slate is clear and he can start a new, clean life with the girl of his dreams, Deborah (Lily James). Unfortunately, Doc has other ideas for his blessed go-to driver, but will this next robbery be one job too far?

… Keep Scuttling!

Transformers: The Last Knight (Cinema Review)

12A – 149mins – 2017 – 3D


 

PIECE OF SCRAP

I know it’s lazy to deride Michael Bay’s bloated brigade of big ‘bot battle blockbusters, but boy is this fifth Transformers film a rotten piece of shit! I realise that isn’t a very erudite (or polite) way to kickstart a review, but I’m not editing it for two reasons: Firstly, multi-millionaire Bay, producers Paramount and Hasbro Studios won’t care what The CR@Bpendium thinks of their gallizion dollar expanded-universe franchise – people will still turn out in droves. Secondly, given the amount of bad language that litters this light-hearted adapted-from-toys summer sequel, apparently kids are down with the swearz these days, too?! So the shit stays where it is.

… Keep Scuttling!

Wonder Woman (Cinema Review)

12A – 141mins – 2017 – 3D


 

AMAZON PRIME

After being introduced with a supporting role (but no title credit) in last year’s bloated super-smash melee Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (which I reviewed HERE), DC Comic’s immortal warrior princess is granted her own solo mission, incorporating her 5000-year-old origin story into a prequel adventure set during World War I.

… Keep Scuttling!