In Bruges (Netflix Review)

18 – 106mins – 2008


 

NOOKS AND CRANNIES

“How can a fucking fairy-tale NOT be someone’s cup of tea?!”

Rejoice, CR@B fans, for I am back! Did you miss me?

What do you mean you didn’t even know I had gone?! Well, as my none-too-subtle choice of film illuminates, I have just got back from a glorious mini-break in the medieval, alcove-ridden Belgium market town of Bruges (or Brugge to the locals). Of course I ate my body weight at the numerous chocolatiers and drank the local brewery dry, but I also climbed the 300+ steps to the apex of the clock tower, which features prominently in writer/director Martin McDonagh’s blackly-comic BAFTA-winning crime drama, which recently made its Netflix debut (what timing!).

… Keep Scuttling!

Jigsaw (Cinema Review)

18 – 92mins – 2017


FUCKED UP CONFESSIONAL

Seven real-world years after Saw 3D was marketed as “The Final Chapter” [sic] and over a decade in-universe after the death of eponymous Jigsaw Killer John Kramer (Tobin Bell), Daybreakers directing duo the Spierig Brothers resurrect what used to be an annual Halloween tradition with the eighth instalment in the popular torture-porn horror franchise.

… Keep Scuttling!

Bad Santa 2 (DVD Review)

Image result for bad santa 2

15 – 88mins – 2016


 

WELCOME TO THE SHIT SHOW

“Happy endings are bullshit!”

Fourteen years after embittered black comedy Bad Santa became something of a cult hit for seasonal scrooges, stars Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox and Brett Kelly return for another lewd, crude Christmas caper. Alas, lightening did not strike twice, and this belated and bedraggled festive follow-up is as unapologetically egregious as the Farley Brother’s down-right disgusting and offensive Dumb and Dumber To.

… Keep Scuttling!

Baby Driver (Cinema Review)

15 – 113mins – 2017


 

THE FAULT IN OUR EARS

Baby (Ansel The Fault In Our Stars Elgort) is a talented getaway driver who relies upon the beat of his iPod soundtrack to drown out his tinnitus and focus his acute reflexes behind the wheel. In debt to heist mastermind Doc (Kevin Spacey) for a mistake he made in his youth, Baby is counting down the jobs until his slate is clear and he can start a new, clean life with the girl of his dreams, Deborah (Lily James). Unfortunately, Doc has other ideas for his blessed go-to driver, but will this next robbery be one job too far?

… Keep Scuttling!

The Handmaid’s Tale (DVD Review)

15 – 90mins – 1990


 

FUNDAMENTALIST FUTURE

27 years before Hulu remade it into a highly-acclaimed and much-discussed, must-see television series, Margaret Atwood’s eye-opening 1985 dystopian novel was adapted to film, courtesy of a Harold Pinter screenplay. Critically commended though it was, an eleventh hour change of director led to rewrites Pinter was “too tired” to work on, so he suggested incoming helmer Volker Schlöndorff return to the author for any “tinkering,” leading the Nobel-Prize winning playwright to all-but disown credit for such a “hodgepodge.”

… Keep Scuttling!

American Pastoral (DVD Review)

15 – 108mins – 2016


 

RIOT REVOLUTION

“Doesn’t anyone care? Doesn’t anyone have a conscience?”

Adapted from Philip Roth’s 1997 novel, juggling star and director Ewan McGregor’s first feature behind the lens is a competent-if-flairless debut which leaves it late to make an impact. The life story of high school athlete-turned-factory owner and family man, Seymour “Swede” Levov (McGregor), and structured with modern-day bench-ends, the politically volatile backdrop of 1960s New Jersey  (black rights movement, the Vietnam War, Newark riots) feels clumsily enforced upon us with inserted news reels and radio transmissions.

… Keep Scuttling!

Free Fire (Cinema Review) with Ben Wheatley Q&A (Event Review)

15 – 91mins – 2017

Cinema City, Norwich – 28th March 2017 – 8:15pm

Official Website with Tour Dates


 

RAIN OF FIREPOWER

“Fuck the small talk, let’s buy some guns, eh?”

Essex-born director Ben Wheatley follows up his surrealist and satirical decent into destruction, High-Rise, with a similarly violent but far more narratively-simple crime thriller set entirely in deserted warehouse.

… Keep Scuttling!