The Party (DVD Review)

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15 – 68mins – 2017


 

REVELATORY REVELLERS

At a dinner party for a few close friends to commemorate Janet’s (Kristin Scott Thomas) political victory and ministerial appointment, her husband Bill (Timothy Finding Your Feet Spall) derails the celebrations with a pair of explosive revelations which have catastrophic ramifications for the majority of those present. Will everyone make it out of The Party alive…?

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Jigsaw (Cinema Review)

18 – 92mins – 2017


FUCKED UP CONFESSIONAL

Seven real-world years after Saw 3D was marketed as “The Final Chapter” [sic] and over a decade in-universe after the death of eponymous Jigsaw Killer John Kramer (Tobin Bell), Daybreakers directing duo the Spierig Brothers resurrect what used to be an annual Halloween tradition with the eighth instalment in the popular torture-porn horror franchise.

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The Hitman’s Bodyguard (Cinema Review)

15 – 118mins – 2017


TRIGGER SCRAPPY

“It’s my job to keep you out of harm’s way.”

“Shit, motherfucker, I am harm’s way!”

Hollywood heavyweights Ryan Deadpool Reynolds and Kong: Skull Island‘s Samuel L. Jackson bring buddy cop bantz to this darkly violent contemporary action comedy which feels like a very blatant attempt to channel the iconic tone of 18-rated 80s classic Lethal Weapon. But excessive injury detail and profuse bad language do not a successful film for adult audiences makes.

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The Big Sick (Cinema Review)

15 – 124mins – 2017


 

BEST SEEN COLD

While The Big Sick’s reputation precedes it, literally all I knew about this acclaimed indie rom-com prior to last night’s Cineworld Unlimited cardholder preview screening was that critics were raving about it Stateside, and it co-starred Ruby Sparks herself, quirky cutie Zoe Kazan.

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Blair Witch (DVD Review)

15 – 86mins – 2016


 

THE ABSENCE OF CLOSURE

“Someone’s died everywhere at some point, doesn’t mean every square foot of this planet is haunted!”

Coming across a video on YouTube he believes contains footage of his sister, presumed dead twenty years earlier after going missing while investigating the legend of the Blair Witch, James Donahue (James Allen McCune) heads into Black Hills Forest near Burkittsville, hoping against hope that Heather is still alive. He his ‘assisted’ by a couple of wary locals he communicated with online, and trailed by a group of his closest friends, including one who conveniently wishes to document the missing person search.

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Unlocked (Cinema Review)

15 – 98mins – 2017


 

KNOCKING OFF THE RUST

I’m no huge fan of security intelligence or counterterrorism films, but I was interested in seeing action-thriller Unlocked to witness Prometheus and Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009) star Noomi Rapace take centre stage again. The original (and best) Lisbeth Salander is joined in this London-set spy game by a stellar cast including Orlando Bloom, Michael Douglas, Toni Collette and John Malkovich. Directed by former Bond-helmer, Michael Apted, surely Unlocked would be a Spooks-tacular adventure?

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Power Rangers (Cinema Review)

12A – 124mins – 2017


 

MORPHING THE MORPHERS

“Alpha, Rita’s escaped. Recruit a team of teenagers with attitude,” Zordon instructed at the beginning of every episode of Saban’s phenomenally successful mid-90s appropriation of footage from Japan’s Super Sentai series. But, if truth be told, the five Mighty Morphin’ teens lacked any kind of edge; they were clean-cut do-gooders who vanquished evil, taught bullies a lesson and saved the environment without a cross word, mood swing or cuss between them.

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