Transformers: The Last Knight (Cinema Review)

12A – 149mins – 2017 – 3D


 

PIECE OF SCRAP

I know it’s lazy to deride Michael Bay’s bloated brigade of big ‘bot battle blockbusters, but boy is this fifth Transformers film a rotten piece of shit! I realise that isn’t a very erudite (or polite) way to kickstart a review, but I’m not editing it for two reasons: Firstly, multi-millionaire Bay, producers Paramount and Hasbro Studios won’t care what The CR@Bpendium thinks of their gallizion dollar expanded-universe franchise – people will still turn out in droves. Secondly, given the amount of bad language that litters this light-hearted adapted-from-toys summer sequel, apparently kids are down with the swearz these days, too?! So the shit stays where it is.

… Keep Scuttling!

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King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (Cinema Review)

12A – 126mins – 2017 – 3D


 

THE MAN FROM C.A.M.E.L.O.T.

The sword in the stone, the Lady in the Lake, the Knights of the Round Table… You think you know the legend, but certainly not told like this. Lock Stock and Snatch director Guy Ritchie brings his own, erm, ineffable and idiosyncratic style to the oft-told story of the medieval British leader whose historical biography has long been entwined with mythical embellishments, magic and Merlin.

… Keep Scuttling!