Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special (Netflix Review)

15 – 54mins – Available to stream from 7th February 2017

Written by: Scott Aukerman, David Ferguson, Mike Hanford, Tim Kalpakis, Joe Saunders

Directed by: Scott Aukerman, Akiva Schaffer


LOVE IS THE POWER

After the laugh-free wince-fest that was 2015’s A Very Murray Christmas, I was understandably wary of any future original ‘comedy’ specials from streaming giants-turned content producers Netflix. But despite sharing two signifiers in common – Maya Rudolf singing and Santa (seriously!) – this love-centric hour of music and madness hosted by silver fox Michael Bolton and devised by Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping troupe The Lonely Island is an all-round superior slice of cheese and giggles.

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Passengers (Cinema Review)

Image result for passengers (2016 film)

12A – 116mins – 2016 – 3D


 

IN SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM MURDER

Three decades into the starship Avalon’s hibernation-assisted 120-year journey transporting colonists from Earth to the planet Homestead II, mechanic Jim Preston’s (Chris Jurassic World Pratt) hibernation pod malfunctions, ejecting him early.

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Nocturnal Animals (Cinema Review)

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15 – 117mins – 2016


CREATIVE AROUSAL

I went into Nocturnal Animals practically blind. I knew it starred Amy Arrival Adams and an almost recognisable Aaron Taylor-Johnson; I knew Mark Kermode commended it (I caught part of an interview he did with the stars on the red carpet at the film’s UK premiere) and I knew my regular cinema-going friends rated it highly. Otherwise, I was blind as a bat!

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Alice Through the Looking Glass (Cinema Review)

PG – 113mins – 2016 – 3D


 

THE MATTER WITH THE HATTER

First announced four years ago, The Muppets resurrector James Bobin inherited the directorial top hat from Tim Burton (who stayed on in the capacity of producer) for this slow-tracked sequel to Disney’s 2010 live action Lewis Carroll remake.

“You’ve been gone too long, Alice.”

In the years following Alice’s (Crimson Peak’s Mia Wasikowska) slaying of the Jabberwocky and return to the sexist reality of 19th Century life, she has followed in her sea-fairing father’s footsteps as Captain of The Wonder. Upon debarking, Captain Kingsleigh is distraught to learn her father is dead and her spurned former fiancé, Hamish (Leo Bill), is now her boss, smarmily demanding she be demoted to clerk – no wonder our free-thinking heroine is desperate to escape once more to the dreamlike surrealism of Underland!

Stylistically in keeping with the colour-crowded, CG-heavy Alice in Wonderland, Looking Glass takes an “un-impossible” turn for the darker when the old gang of flamboyant friends tells Alice that the clown-faced Mad Hatter (Johnny Black Mass Depp) is dying of depression following the dim discovery that his estranged family of ginger hat-makers (headed by patriarch Rhys Ifans) have perished.

Desperate to put the colour back in his ghost-white cheeks, Alice tasks herself with entering the Grand Clock Tower and procuring the Chronosphere (think H.G. Well’s antique contraption mixed with General Grievous’ wheel bike) from Time (Grimsby’s Sacha Baron Cohen) himself, allowing her to journey back on the oceans of time to save the tragic Hightopp brood. But can you ever really change the past, or simply learn from it?

The grandiose time travel concept (Time is a he who has automaton Seconds for minions, who in times of need can club together into larger Minutes and giant Hours) is cleverly constructed, however no matter how poetic the plot or nifty the FX, I still don’t ever believe that the human actors are really anywhere but in front of a green screen – no matter how affected their accents or kooky their clothes.

Alice PosterDiverting from Carroll’s prose, Looking Glass successfully manages to pack more of an emotional wallop than its superficial predecessor thanks to an entangled backstory which reveals the reasons for the White (Anne Hathaway) and Red Queen’s (Helena Bonham Carter) sisterly squabbles – and the awkward medical justification for the latter’s inflated bonce. However, a lot of the surreal side characters feel like little more than frivolous window dressing in this “curiouser and curiouser” continuation which will put a Cheshire Cat-sized grin on the lips of those who loved Burton’s interpretation, but won’t convert any detractors.

CR@B Verdict: 3 stars