12A – 129mins – 2017 – 3D
THE POWER OF THE SEA
After six years on dry land – the longest gap between installments in Disney’s “savvy” saga to date – Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny “Mad Hatter” Depp) has set sail on blockbuster seas for the fifth time in Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge (or the mouthful that is Dead Men Tell No Tales, as it is known Stateside), after both script and budgetary issues blighted initial 2015, then 2016, departures from dock.
… Keep Scuttling!
PG – 93mins – 2016
THE UNDISCOVERED ISLAND
Following a beloved 1974 adaptation, Arthur Ransome’s classic children’s book gets its second silver screen outing courtesy of screenwriter Andrea Gibb and TV director Philippa Lowthorpe, in her feature film debut. Andrew Sherlock Scott, Rafe The BFG Spall, Kelly Special Correspondents Macdonald, Jessica Bridget Jones’s Baby Hynes and Harry Upstart Crow Enfield add star clout in supporting roles, but the plucky kids are the real driving force here.
… Keep Scuttling!
PG – 94mins – 1992
THE CRIMSON PIG
“I don’t fight for honour – I fight for a pay check!”
Italian WWI ex-fighter pilot Marco Rossolini (Michael Keaton) is an anti-fascist now living as a hostage-rescuing freelance bounty hunter, spending his days chasing “air pirates” in his Savoia S.21 above the Adriatic Sea. Written and directed by Studio Ghibli head Hayao Miyazaki, Porco Rosso is based on his own 3-part Manga, Hikōtei Jidai, and could easily pass as an ode to history and aviation, were it not for the fact that the lead character is cursed by “divine punishment” into the form of an anthropomorphised pig!
“God was telling you it wasn’t your time yet…”
Despite this single concession to fantasy, Porco Rosso is otherwise fairly geographically and historically accurate, with a surplus of politically-charged dialogue giving it the air of a satire. It’s a pity that a succession of “outsider” quips and tiresome “pig-headed” wordplay diminishes any deeper and more complex subtext by overstating the ‘pigs might fly’ comedy. In my opinion, that’s a single joke stretched waaaay too far.
Elsewhere there are flashes of sensitivity and sympathy (“Maybe I’ve just run out of tears,”), even if Keaton dubs Rocco with suave indifference. Irritatingly, there are also further glimpses of some outmoded sexism (“Don’t you have any males relatives?”; “We’re not baking a cake here,”) – but at least, unlike Ocean Waves, this was set in a less open-minded time period.
As is to be expected from the Japanese anime giants, the film is animated gorgeously, however some overly cartoonified injury detail does diminish the honour of Porco’s climatic dual-cum-bareknuckle-fistfight with love rival Curtis (Cary Saw Elwes). Nevertheless, Porco Rosso’s charm carries it through; this is still more swell than swill – and I’m not bacon that up! Ahem.
CR@B’s Claw Score: