The Hitman’s Bodyguard (Cinema Review)

15 – 118mins – 2017


TRIGGER SCRAPPY

“It’s my job to keep you out of harm’s way.”

“Shit, motherfucker, I am harm’s way!”

Hollywood heavyweights Ryan Deadpool Reynolds and Kong: Skull Island‘s Samuel L. Jackson bring buddy cop bantz to this darkly violent contemporary action comedy which feels like a very blatant attempt to channel the iconic tone of 18-rated 80s classic Lethal Weapon. But excessive injury detail and profuse bad language do not a successful film for adult audiences makes.

… Keep Scuttling!

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Sausage Party (Cinema Review)

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15 – 88mins – 2016


 

WIENER FEST

Ten minutes in to this Point Grey Pictures anthropomorphised-foodstuffs-make-crude-jokes-and-swear-lots CG ‘toon for those old enough to know better, I feared the (not so) cute concept would become very tired very quickly – particularly when devoid of the deliberate hoodwink of the jaw dropping Pixar-parodying trailer.

… Keep Scuttling!

Tale of Tales (DVD Review)

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15 – 134mins – 2015


 
GRIMM KINGS

In the kingdom of Darkwood, the King of Longtrellis (Cedar Rapids‘ John C. Reilly) must slay a seabeast and feed its heart to his barren Queen (Salma Hayek) to guarantee her pregnancy. In the adjacent kingdom of Highmountain, the widowed sovereign (Toby Jones) must find a suitor for his highly-strung teenage daughter (Bebe Cave), whilst he secretly keeps a giant steak-fed flea as a pet. Won over by the singing voice of an aged crone (Hayley Carmichael), the randy King (Vincent Cassel) of the neighbouring kingdom of Stronghold is disgusted with his choice of partner – but can magic held transform her into the perfect royal bride (Stacy Martin)?

… Keep Scuttling!