Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Cinema Review)

12A – 137mins – 2017 – 3D


 

TEMPORAL SPACE AGENT

Based on Pierre Christin and Jean-Claude Mézières’ pulp comic book series Valérian and Laureline which lasted a monumental 44 years from 1966-2010, it is clear that acclaimed director Luc Besson sees this epic science fiction adaptation as his grandiose Avatar moment. Intricately designed and packed full of more CGI than all three Star Wars prequels combined, sadly this is less a return to his The Fifth Element success and more a John Carter-sized flop.

… Keep Scuttling!

The Circle (Netflix Review)

12 – 110mins – 2017


 

FULLY TRANSPARENT

In light of a paltry US box office haul and surfeit negative reviews, this speculative techo-thriller was ignobly dumped onto UK Netflix on Sunday, little over two months after it crashed out of Stateside cinemas. It’s a shame, really, as The Circle’s tackling of human rights issues in our ever-more digitized, online age is resonantly timely, while the stellar cast (including John The Force Awakens Boyega and recently departed Bill Paxton) are all exuberant.

… Keep Scuttling!

DOCTOR WHO, 10.6 – “Extremis” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:25pm – Saturday 20th May 2017

Written by: Steven Moffat

Directed by: Daniel Nettheim


 

WHAT LIES BENEATH

Well I certainly wasn’t expecting that. After setting up what was presumed to be a season-long mystery in “The Pilot” and teasing it in each subsequent episode, we were casually made privy to who was inside the vault the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) has sworn to guard at this innocuous mid-series point. I’m a week late in getting my “Extremis” review posted, but I will still warn those even tardier than I that SPOILERS FOLLOW, so continue at your own risk…

… Keep Scuttling!

Alien³ – Theatrical Cut (Blu-ray Review)

18 – 114mins – 1992


 

AIN’T NO FURY LIKE A RIPLEY SCORNED

I had planned to watch all five of the legitimate Alien films (as in, skipping over Alien v. Predator and its turgid sequel) prior to Alien: Covenant’s theatrical bow on 12th May, however I failed spectacularly, only getting as far as immediate predecessor (and chronological starting point) Prometheus and Ridley Scott’s 1979 original. As it turns out, they were all I technically needed to get the most out of Covenant (which, as my REVIEW details, I enjoyed immensely), however I tardily sustained my franchise re-watch undeterred.

… Keep Scuttling!

DOCTOR WHO, 10.5 – “Oxygen” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:15pm – Saturday 13th May 2017

Written by: Jamie Mathieson

Directed by: Charles Palmer


 

SAVE YOUR BREATH

“Can you imagine how unbearable I’ll be when I get us out of this?”

Infuriated that his employer is reneging on his vow to stay at the university and guard the vault, an admonishing Nardole (Matt Lucas) piggybacks on the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) and Bill’s (Pearl Mackie) answering of a distress call on a space station which mines copper ore in the final frontier. On board, the trio come face-to-face with a contingent of zombie-nauts – 36 dead members of the 40-strong crew whose walking corpses are automated by their SmartSuits.

… Keep Scuttling!

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (Cinema Review)

12A – 136mins – 2017 – 3D


 

STILL HOOKED ON A FEELING

Formerly feared to be comic and movie franchise giants Marvel’s unknown quantity, James The Belko Experiment Gunn’s 2014 mega-hit established that even lesser known superheroes can find adoration, form meme-worthy catchphrases (“I am Groot!”) and sell retro-flavoured mixtapes by the bucket-load.

… Keep Scuttling!

Equals (DVD Review)

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12 – 98mins – 2015


 

THE LOVE BUG

“We cured cancer, we cured the common cold, we can cure S.O.S.”

In a starkly clinical ‘utopian’ potentiality where to be “Switched On” to your emotions is to be labelled “defective” and sent to the doctor for inhibitors, tantamount to a disease which is on the verge of being cured, two members of the Collective struggle to keep their love for one another under wraps.

… Keep Scuttling!