Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Cinema Review)

12A – 137mins – 2017 – 3D


 

TEMPORAL SPACE AGENT

Based on Pierre Christin and Jean-Claude Mézières’ pulp comic book series Valérian and Laureline which lasted a monumental 44 years from 1966-2010, it is clear that acclaimed director Luc Besson sees this epic science fiction adaptation as his grandiose Avatar moment. Intricately designed and packed full of more CGI than all three Star Wars prequels combined, sadly this is less a return to his The Fifth Element success and more a John Carter-sized flop.

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Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (DVD Review)

15 – 102mins – 2017


 

WELCOME HOME

“Sometimes I feel like this has been my whole life.”

In no immediate rush to devour this Capcom-inspired blockbuster videogame spin-off, I set out to re-watch all five of the preceding chapters in the sci-fi-action-horror film series before closing out the 15-year story with this final chunk of the corpse. I got as far as the third film before my rental copy of The Final Chapter was due back, so to save myself a fine I had to skip ahead. I shouldn’t have worried, however, as Paul W.S. Anderson’s passion project opened with a lengthy comprehensive saga recap, commentated by zombie-slaughtering mainstay Alice (Milla Jovovich).

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DOCTOR WHO, 10.12 – “The Doctor Falls” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:35pm – Saturday 1st July 2017

Written by: Steven Moffat

Directed by: Rachel Talalay


 

HANGING ON IN A HURRICANE

“We’re not going to get out of this one, are we?”

On the day when fandom is anxiously awaiting the reveal of who will be the new face of the Time Lord’s 13th regeneration, I finally bring my run of reviews of Peter Capaldi’s final series to a close. Episode 10.11, “World Enough and Time” (reviewed HERE), had me impressed and enthralled, if ultimately frustrated that the entire instalment felt like little more than a tease for this hour-long finale. My anticipation, therefore, was high, especially as this concluding part was written and directed by the same duo as last week, exiting showrunner Steven Moffat and director Rachel Talalay. Safe hands, right?

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DOCTOR WHO, 10.11 – “World Enough and Time” (TV Review)

Image result for doctor who world enough and time

BBC One – 7:35pm – Saturday 24th June 2017

Written by: Steven Moffat

Directed by: Rachel Talalay


 

OUR USUAL SATURDAY

“Positive attitude will help with the horror to come.”

After a regeneration tease in a blustery cold open, we return to ‘Earlier’ where Missy (Michelle Gomez), Bill (Pearl Mackie) and Nardole (Matt Lucas) board a 400-mile-long colony ship teetering in the gravity well of a black hole. We learn through extensive, largely banterful, dialogue that this is a “test” of Missy’s progress, to see how far she has moved away from her nefarious past, overseen by the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) from the comfort of the TARDIS.

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THE HANDMAID’S TALE, 1.5 – “Faithful” (TV Review)

Channel 4 – 9pm – Sunday 25th June 2017

Teleplay by: Dorothy Fortenberry

Series created by: Bruce Miller – Based on the novel by: Margaret Atwood

Directed by: Mike Barker


 

FISH HOOK, OPEN EYE

“Every love story is a tragedy, if you wait long enough.”

Now 34 games of Scrabble into her clandestine encounters with her potentially-sterile Commander (Joseph Fiennes), handmaid Offred (Elisabeth Moss) is gifted an old-times fashion magazine. Long thought destroyed, the nostalgic memento awakens in her memories of her first encounters with her husband, Luke (O-T Fagbenle), at a street-side hot dog stand while best friend Moira (Samira Wiley) interrogates Luke about Offred/Kate’s Tinder profile.

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Spider-Man: Homecoming (Cinema Review)

12A – 133mins – 2017 – 3D


 

TURN OFF THE STARK

After five blockbuster movies taking place over two unrelated movie-verses with two separate casts and crews – all of which were released in the space of just twelve years – Marvel Comic’s friendly neighbourhood web-slinger has finally come home, in his first solo Marvel Cinematic Universe adventure following a triumphant cursory cameo in 2016’s Civil War.

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DOCTOR WHO, 10.10 – “The Eaters of Light” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:35pm – Saturday 17th June 2017

Written by: Rona Munro

Directed by: Charles Palmer


 

DEATH BY SCOTLAND

It strains credulity to belief it has taken this long, but with episode 10.10, screenwriter Rona Munro became the first person to scribe an episode of the original ‘classic’ series (1989’s concluding “Survival” serial) and new Who. The oldest adventure I have seen in its entirity is the 1996 TV Movie (which I reviewed HERE), so I have no context for how “The Eaters of Light” compares to Munro’s earlier in-universe effort, but to the casual fan last Saturday’s romp in time was pretty much business as usual for the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) and his cohorts.

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