Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (DVD Review)

15 – 102mins – 2017



“Sometimes I feel like this has been my whole life.”

In no immediate rush to devour this Capcom-inspired blockbuster videogame spin-off, I set out to re-watch all five of the preceding chapters in the sci-fi-action-horror film series before closing out the 15-year story with this final chunk of the corpse. I got as far as the third film before my rental copy of The Final Chapter was due back, so to save myself a fine I had to skip ahead. I shouldn’t have worried, however, as Paul W.S. Anderson’s passion project opened with a lengthy comprehensive saga recap, commentated by zombie-slaughtering mainstay Alice (Milla Jovovich).

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Underworld: Blood Wars (DVD Review)

15 – 88mins – 2017



“I have lived beyond my time…”

The most surprising thing about this belated fifth instalment in the lycans versus vampires action-horror series is the end credits, which revealed – much to my astonishment – that series co-creator Len Wiseman neither wrote or directed this fourth big screen sequel. My surprise was such because Blood Wars is otherwise Underworld by-numbers. Kate Beckinsale strutting and slashing in tight leather? Check. Gloomy midnight-blue colour grade? Check. Chaotic interspecies fight sequences? Check. Clunky, exposition-heavy dialogue? Check and mate.

… Keep Scuttling!

Don’t Breathe (Cinema Review)

Image result for don't breathe film

15 – 88mins – 2016



“Just because he’s blind doesn’t mean he’s a fuckin’ saint, bro.”

Claustrophobically executed, this low budget real-world horror from Evil Dead remaker Fede Alvarez (and produced by Sam Raimi) is an efficient exhibition in tension. Have-a-go burglars Rocky (Jane Levy), Alex (Dylan Goosebumps Minnette) and Money (Daniel Zovatto) are hoping to steal enough cash from local properties to leave behind their downtrodden neighbourhood and start afresh – but their dreams may well be coming to an abrupt end when they mistake the home of a blind Army veteran (Stephen Lang) living in isolation for an easy target…

… Keep Scuttling!