Jigsaw (Cinema Review)

18 – 92mins – 2017


FUCKED UP CONFESSIONAL

Seven real-world years after Saw 3D was marketed as “The Final Chapter” [sic] and over a decade in-universe after the death of eponymous Jigsaw Killer John Kramer (Tobin Bell), Daybreakers directing duo the Spierig Brothers resurrect what used to be an annual Halloween tradition with the eighth instalment in the popular torture-porn horror franchise.

… Keep Scuttling!

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Child’s Play (Netflix Review)

Image result for child's play 1988

18 – 87mins – 1988


 

BATTERIES NOT INSERTED

“Hey, wanna play?!”

The Conjuring‘s breakout star Annabelle – who has since been granted not one but two origin stories, reviewed HERE and HERE – may have recently reawakened the public’s fear in perturbed porcelain playthings, but the first toy to terrorise audiences (and court controversy for allegedly invoking violence in children) was creator Don Mancini’s possessed Good Guys doll, who over a near 20-year period has headlined a further six supernatural serial-killing sequels.

… Keep Scuttling!

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (Blu-ray Review)

18 – 87mins – 1985


THE DEADLY DINOSAUR

“Something is trying to get inside my body…”

Set five years after the original Nightmare (reviewed HERE), quickly-produced sequel Freddy’s Revenge sees high schooler Jesse Walsh (Mark Patton) and his family move onto Elm Street – and into the former home of dream-stalked survivor Nancy Thompson. Upon reading Nancy’s left-behind diary, Jesse is bedevilled with horrific night terrors and uncharacteristically violent outbursts. From beyond the grave, Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) needs a host body to carry out his revenge against the community’s youth.

… Keep Scuttling!

Annabelle (DVD Review)

15 – 95mins – 2014


 

DEVIL’S WELCOME

“It cannot truly ever be destroyed…”

Set before but filmed after James Wan’s 2013 horror hit The Conjuring (the sequel of which I reviewed HERE), Annabelle is the creepy doll-centric spin-off which has recently been given a Creation story, now in cinemas nationwide, which itself is set before but filmed after Wish Upon director John R. Leonetti’s period frightener.

… Keep Scuttling!

A Good Marriage (DVD Review)

15 – 102mins – 2014


 

ONE BAD PENNY

As beloved and masterful as Stephen King’s horror stories may be, it’s fair to say that the majority work far better on page than on screen. Sure, there are some truly classic adaptations (Carrie, Misery, The Shawshank Redemption, The Mist), but they are outnumbered by some – to be blunt – risible guff (Cell, Maximum Overdrive, Dreamcatcher, Thinner, Secret Window).

… Keep Scuttling!