Sisters – Extended (DVD Review)

15 – 118mins – 2015



“What the fuckenheimer” have I just watched?! Seriously, for comedy heavyweights like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, this pathetic trash – written by SNL sketch writer Paula Pell and directed by Pitch Perfect helmer Jason Moore – is beneath them. If Sisters is symptomatic of the quality of film the comedienne comrades are content with, then both should return to their far superior television projects.

Before I completely lose my rag, I’ll break from my rant for a synopsis: maturing parents Dianne Wiest and James Brolin have sold their family home in Orlando and downsized, giving their two daughters – recently-divorced Maura (Amy Poehler) and hot-headed single mother Kate (Tina Fey) – just days to clean out their childhood bedrooms and say goodbye to their old nest.

Unreasonably outraged by this ‘injustice’, these two 40-something siblings act like utter juvenile “twots” in kicking up a fuss, dragging their heels with any actual work and instead wasting their time embarrassing themselves in front of actual adults, attempting to put off the new owners by dressing like morons and organising one last kick-ass house party to reclaim that “high school feeling.”

Insensitive and immature are two descriptions which instantly spring to mind – particularly as Kate is a mother to a (rightfully) frustrated teenager (Madison Davenport), yet acts less responsibly than she does! The senior Ellis’ have all but given up on their heedless offspring, whose personalities verge on ignorant. John Leguizamo slums it as an equally out-of-touch former school friend refusing to grow up, while wrestler John Cena somehow manages to keep a straight face as imposing drug dealer Pazuzu.

“We have no energy for this goddamn shit.”

And neither did I, which is why I had to watch it in two sittings. The first time I was so exasperated by the pathetic unfunniness unfurling before me, that I was ashamed by my movie choice and chose to finish it alone. It isn’t a quick film, either, suffering from a Jud Apatow-esque aversion to precision. The DVD Extended cut simply adds to the misery by making this a painful two hours slog.

I will confess that I was slightly less averse to these repulsive characters second time around, however any jot of goodwill I had accumulated towards the film come the end credits was well and truly snuffed out when I made the masochistic mistake of watching the deleted scenes.

Like the unruly film, there’s a lot of extraneous material here (including an entire excised subplot involving a bored couple looking to spice up their marriage… by sleeping with other people), but the most offensive of all involved Kate’s shockingly violent response to the rightfully-annoyed new owners of the destroyed house! Yes, it was left out of the final film, but just proves the intolerable mindset of those behind it – there are no real world consequences for these immature wretches we are supposed to cheer on! Urgh.

“When you’re sober it’s like why would anyone do this?!”

Exactly, Kate. It’s no exaggeration to say I detested this “comedy,” and Sisters joins A Very Murray Christmas, Grimsby and Special Correspondents among the worst films I have had the uncomfortable displeasure of sitting through recently. Curious how they are all (so-called) comedies…

Okay, rant over.

CR@B Verdict: 1 star