Verónica (Netflix Review)

Carla Campra, Ángela Fabián, and Sandra Escacena in Verónica (2017)

15 – 105mins – 2017


 

GAME NIGHT FRIGHT

Based (albeit sketchily) upon a real-life case from Madrid in 1991, this haunting new horror from [REC] co-director Paco Plaza takes full advantage of its “true crime” roots by beginning and concluding with title cards establishing the unique police case which investigated this occult-dabbling nightmare. Purportedly this was the first ever case in Spanish history to be officially attributed to “paranormal phenomena”.

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The Cloverfield Paradox (Netflix Review)

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15 – 102mins – 2018


 

CREATING CHAOS

“We’re definitely not in Kentucky anymore.”

You certainly cannot accuse the burgeoning Cloverfield cinematic universe (for that undoubtedly is what it now is) of resting on its laurels. Ten years and three films in, we have been treated to three distinct and intriguing genre pictures released in three distinct and intriguing ways. For those who thought 2008’s ground-breaking viral marketing-tease and 2015’s quick-drop cinema rollout too longwinded, Paradox dropped onto streaming giant Netflix just FOUR HOURS after its trailer debuted during this year’s Super Bowl. Wow.

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The Open House (Netflix Review)

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15 – 94mins – 2018


 

DEATH MOVES IN

13 Reasons Why must be the sole reason why Netflix bought up this lacklustre home invasion thriller. Their acquisition team must be hoping that the presence of lead actor Dylan Don’t Breathe Minnette will persuade fans of the headline-making, smash-hit teen mystery drama series to give something else with him in a watch. Any viewers that do will no doubt be as disappointed as I was by this poor excuse of a horror from unseasoned all-rounders Matt Angel (an actor by trade) and Suzanne Coote, who wrote, produced and directed.

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Personal Shopper (Netflix Review)

Image result for personal shopper 2016 film

15 – 107mins – 2016


 

DESIRE FOR THE FORBIDDEN

Renowned by fans and detractors alike for her tight jaw and sullen gaze, former Twilight megastar and blossoming indie darling Kristen Equals Stewart is perfectly cast here as glum American spiritualist Maureen Cartwright. Moonlighting as a personal shopper for high-profile French fashionista Kyra (Nora von Waldstätten) while she stays in Paris, Maureen is mourning the recent death of her twin brother, who she shares a heart malformation with.

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In Bruges (Netflix Review)

18 – 106mins – 2008


 

NOOKS AND CRANNIES

“How can a fucking fairy-tale NOT be someone’s cup of tea?!”

Rejoice, CR@B fans, for I am back! Did you miss me?

What do you mean you didn’t even know I had gone?! Well, as my none-too-subtle choice of film illuminates, I have just got back from a glorious mini-break in the medieval, alcove-ridden Belgium market town of Bruges (or Brugge to the locals). Of course I ate my body weight at the numerous chocolatiers and drank the local brewery dry, but I also climbed the 300+ steps to the apex of the clock tower, which features prominently in writer/director Martin McDonagh’s blackly-comic BAFTA-winning crime drama, which recently made its Netflix debut (what timing!).

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ZAPPED, 2.6 – “The Henge” (TV Review)

Zapped. Image shows from L to R: Barbara (Sharon Rooney), Howell (Paul Kaye).

Dave – 9:40pm – Thursday 16th November 2017

Available to stream NOW on UKTV Play

Created and written by: Dan Gaster, Will Ing and Paul Powell

Directed by: Dave Lambert


 

GET HOME OR DIE TRYING

“Who wants to spend the rest of their life in Munty?!”

The date of the super-solstice is drawing near and Brian Weaver (James Buckley) is finally going to get the opportunity to be magicked back to 21st century Britain – and a change of clothes – provided liquor-loving conjuror Howell (Paul Kaye) can stay off the Rhubarb Seizures long enough to recant the spell! With Barbara’s (Sharon Rooney) new date (Ciaran Dowd) guaranteeing the gang easy access to the Henge, it seems like nothing will stand in the way of Brian’s return journey – except maybe for the two bounty hunters who are hot on the heels of the traveller from another world…

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RED DWARF XII.6 – “Skipper” (TV Review)

Dave – 9:00pm – Thursday 16th November 2017

Available to stream NOW on UKTV Play

Created and written by: Rob Grant and Doug Naylor

Written and directed by: Doug Naylor


 

MULTIVERSE MEDLEY

After “Mechocracy” (reviewed HERE) brought back a blast from the past in the form of a toast-obsessed kitchen appliance and “M-Corp” (reviewed HERE) ended with a middle-aged recreation of Red Dwarf’s first ever scene, Doug Naylor rounds off this critically-and-commercially successful twelfth series of the popular British sci-fi sitcom with some Rick & Morty and Futurama-esque disasters in the multiverse which could very easily be seen as a perfectly nostalgic send-off to the show, were it not for the fact that this Dave-era revival has been such a hit that a series XIII – and possibly even a live show – seems like a shoe-in.

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