Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Cinema Review)

12A – 137mins – 2017 – 3D


 

TEMPORAL SPACE AGENT

Based on Pierre Christin and Jean-Claude Mézières’ pulp comic book series Valérian and Laureline which lasted a monumental 44 years from 1966-2010, it is clear that acclaimed director Luc Besson sees this epic science fiction adaptation as his grandiose Avatar moment. Intricately designed and packed full of more CGI than all three Star Wars prequels combined, sadly this is less a return to his The Fifth Element success and more a John Carter-sized flop.

… Keep Scuttling!

The Circle (Netflix Review)

12 – 110mins – 2017


 

FULLY TRANSPARENT

In light of a paltry US box office haul and surfeit negative reviews, this speculative techo-thriller was ignobly dumped onto UK Netflix on Sunday, little over two months after it crashed out of Stateside cinemas. It’s a shame, really, as The Circle’s tackling of human rights issues in our ever-more digitized, online age is resonantly timely, while the stellar cast (including John The Force Awakens Boyega and recently departed Bill Paxton) are all exuberant.

… Keep Scuttling!

The Bye Bye Man (Film Review)

15 – 96mins – 2017


 

VISION MESS

Purportedly based on the real-life anomalous phenomena detailed in the chapter “The Bridge to Body Island” from Fortean Times contributor Robert Damon Schneck’s book The President’s Vampire, this supernatural horror adapted by Jonathan Penner is an admirable attempt to conjure up a modern-day bogeyman in the same vein as Freddie Kreuger and Candyman. Sadly, director Stacy Title’s film was crucified upon its theatrical roll-out in January, so it seems quite likely that the legacy of The Bye Bye Man will die out sooner than anticipated.

… Keep Scuttling!

Bad Moms (Cinema Review)

Image result for bad moms

15 – 101mins – 2016


 

MOTHER’S PRIDE

Mila Kunis transforms from Black Swan to black sheep as the pressures of juggling work and domestic life causes her to go cray-cray at the P.T.A, kicking out her insufferable bum of a husband (David Walton) and failing to kowtow to the playground’s in-crowd – lead by queen bee Christina Applegate – any longer.

… Keep Scuttling!