The LEGO Ninjago Movie (Cinema Review)

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U – 101mins – 2017 – 3D


 

THE QUEST FOR PIECE

With 2014’s Lord and Miller-scribed The Lego Movie proving to be a chuckle-stuffed block-buster, a whole universe of brick-based CG-animated feature film spin-offs were commissioned, with this modern-day karate-themed yarn following hot on the heels of February’s Batman solo adventure (which I reviewed HERE).

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A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (Blu-ray Review)

18 – 87mins – 1985


THE DEADLY DINOSAUR

“Something is trying to get inside my body…”

Set five years after the original Nightmare (reviewed HERE), quickly-produced sequel Freddy’s Revenge sees high schooler Jesse Walsh (Mark Patton) and his family move onto Elm Street – and into the former home of dream-stalked survivor Nancy Thompson. Upon reading Nancy’s left-behind diary, Jesse is bedevilled with horrific night terrors and uncharacteristically violent outbursts. From beyond the grave, Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) needs a host body to carry out his revenge against the community’s youth.

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It (Cinema Review)

15 – 135mins – 2017


 

IT FOLLOWS

Tweaking the timeline of Stephen King’s thousand-word tome slightly, the filmmakers behind this box office-record breaking horror hit have, very shrewdly, hit upon a meta jackpot. While Derry is still the US town plagued by the eponymous clown-faced being, the decade has been shifted to the late 1980s and the frequency of its child-napping attacks reduced from 30 to every 27 years. Not only does this mean that the newly-greenlit sequel will take place in the modern day, its also a nice little nod to the fact that It first haunted audiences 27 years ago in ABC’s 1990 mini-series (reviewed HERE).

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It (TV Mini-Series Review)

15 – 192mins (combined duration) – 1990

Teleplay by: Tommy Lee Wallace (2 episodes) & Lawrence D. Cohen (1 episode)

Based on the novel by: Stephen King

Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace


 

CLOWNIN’ AROUND

Every 30 years, the sleepy US town of Derry is befallen by an apparent natural disaster which sees many of the community’s children killed. Only 12 year-old Michael (Marlon Taylor) and his gang of young outcasts are willing to face the truth: these ‘natural disasters’ are, in fact, the handiwork of a malevolent entity which takes the form of sinister Pennywise the Clown (Tim Curry). When the killings start again, adult Michael (Tim Reid) rounds up the long-parted pals to conquer ‘It’ once and for all.

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Death Note (Netflix Review)

15 – 100mins – 2017


 

LIGHT-MARE SCENARIO

“I have a Death God.”

Following his Hollywood breakthrough with 2011’s superb horror hit You’re Next, young auteur Adam Wingard established himself as a compelling new voice of the grisly genre. His credentials were further strengthened as a proponent of anthology pieces such as V/H/S (although he had no hand in the god-awful threequel, reviewed HERE) and The ABCs of Death, while 2014’s The Guest showed there was more to his talent than merely scarlet sauce, shrieks and scares.

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Wish Upon (Cinema Review)

15 – 90mins – 2017


 

MY SOUL TO TAKE

I don’t know what the hell I’ve been doing for the past twenty summers, but it is now TWO DECADES since Ryan Phillippe played the teenage protagonist in late 90s slasher hit I Know What You Did Last Summer – and now, at 41 years old, he’s playing the father to a teenage daughter in a supernatural horror which very much feels like a purposeful hark back to those now retro genre hits, which spawned many a franchise (Scream, Final Destination, Urban Legend). Boy do I feel old!

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Underworld: Blood Wars (DVD Review)

15 – 88mins – 2017


 

SPECIES IMPURITY

“I have lived beyond my time…”

The most surprising thing about this belated fifth instalment in the lycans versus vampires action-horror series is the end credits, which revealed – much to my astonishment – that series co-creator Len Wiseman neither wrote or directed this fourth big screen sequel. My surprise was such because Blood Wars is otherwise Underworld by-numbers. Kate Beckinsale strutting and slashing in tight leather? Check. Gloomy midnight-blue colour grade? Check. Chaotic interspecies fight sequences? Check. Clunky, exposition-heavy dialogue? Check and mate.

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