15 – 102mins – 2017
“Sometimes I feel like this has been my whole life.”
In no immediate rush to devour this Capcom-inspired blockbuster videogame spin-off, I set out to re-watch all five of the preceding chapters in the sci-fi-action-horror film series before closing out the 15-year story with this final chunk of the corpse. I got as far as the third film before my rental copy of The Final Chapter was due back, so to save myself a fine I had to skip ahead. I shouldn’t have worried, however, as Paul W.S. Anderson’s passion project opened with a lengthy comprehensive saga recap, commentated by zombie-slaughtering mainstay Alice (Milla Jovovich).
All 4 episodes streaming from: Friday 7th July 2017
Written by: Warren Ellis
Based on the videogame franchise produced by: Konami
Directed by: Sam Deats
SYMPHONY OF THE NIGHT
In 15th century Wallachia, an aggrieved Vlad Dracula Tepes (Graham The Hobbit McTavish) sets his night hordes loose on the provinces of Romania after the Church burns his scientist wife, Lisa (Emily Swallow), at the stake for witchcraft. Giving the civilians one year to leave, Dracula unleashes his demonic creatures on a defiant and sceptical people. The hell-beasts tear through the land city-by-city, night-by-night, and the Wallachian’s only chance of redemption comes in the form of a disgraced drunkard.
… Keep Scuttling!
Channel 4 – 10pm – Monday 8th May 2017
Written by: Jon Brown
Directed by: Ian Fitzgibbon
FILTHY RICH AND CAT APP
My disappointment at learning that series 3 of Nick Helm’s refreshingly honest BBC Three sitcom Uncle was its last was somewhat assuaged when I learned that the brash bearded comic was playing one of four lead roles in Channel 4’s new eight-part comedy-drama Loaded, which sees Helm’s ex-junkie computer genius Watto and three life-long mates become overnight multi-millionaires when they sell their Candy Crush-alike mobile phone app, Cat Factory, to an American company for a staggering $14billion EACH.
… Keep Scuttling!