12A – 140mins – 2018 – 3D
V.R. TROOPERS
Cineworld were in full alert last night with bouncers at the doors of their latest Unlimited Preview Screening to physically watch you switch off your mobile phones before you entered for an exclusive viewing of young adult sci-fi action adventure adaptation Ready Player One. This didn’t, however, stop the projectionists from messing up and starting the film too early, so we got to watch the opening five minutes twice in the space of a quarter of an hour.
12A – 119mins – 2017 – 3D
… WE’VE GOT FUN AND BOARD GAMES
Based upon a children’s picture book from the 80s by Chris Van Allsburg, 1995’s Joe Johnston-directed adventure-fantasy film is fondly remembered by people of a certain age as being a much-watched childhood favourite. It also starred the late, great Robin Williams, which is perhaps one reason why a return to Jumanji was initially greeted with scepticism from the masses. However, Welcome to the Jungle is NOT a modern day reboot which tries to erase the charm of the first film, but a sequel which respectfully nods to and continues the story, expanding upon the world of the mysterious magical game.
12A – 120mins – 2017 – 3D – IMAX
A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN
Having already directed two hugely successful Marvel team-up features, Avengers assembler Joss Whedon was brought on board to rival comic book juggernaut DC’s comparison piece to oversee post-production after original helmer Zack Snyder left Justice League following a family tragedy. We will never know completely – save for a hugely-unlikely commentary track on the home release – exactly how steadfastly Whedon stuck to Snyder’s vision, except that Whedon directed newly-penned reshoots yet is only ascribed as a co-writer, leaving Snyder with the sole director credit.
12A – 109mins – 2017 – 3D
WEAPONISED WEATHER
Three years after top government official Max Lawson (Jim Sturgess) is forced to fire his ingenious-but-impulsive older brother, Jake (Gerard London Has Fallen Butler), from the global climate-control coalition which Jake designed, the senate beg Max to bring his bitter and estranged sibling back on board when the malfunctioning satellite station “Dutch Boy” threatens to unleash a storm of epic proportions across the Earth’s surface.
12A – 130mins – 2017 – 3D
GLADIA-THOR, READY? REVENGERS, READY?
In recent years, Disney and Marvel have become notorious for the short leashes on which they keep their directors. Even if your name is Edgar Baby Driver Wright, if your Ant Man passion project doesn’t toe the corporate line, you’re out. Likewise, Lord and Miller were recently ousted from the Han Solo Star Wars spin-off because their take on the Kasdan’s script was too irreverent. The body double twist which capped off Iron Man 3 was derided for making a mockery of Marvel lore, while Joss Whedon has openly held his hands up to the difficult production on 2015’s Age of Ultron, a sequel which too often went for a gag.
U – 101mins – 2017 – 3D
THE QUEST FOR PIECE
With 2014’s Lord and Miller-scribed The Lego Movie proving to be a chuckle-stuffed block-buster, a whole universe of brick-based CG-animated feature film spin-offs were commissioned, with this modern-day karate-themed yarn following hot on the heels of February’s Batman solo adventure (which I reviewed HERE).
15 – 163mins – 2017 – 3D
TINPLATE SOLDIER
At the risk of irreparably damaging my geek credentials, I have a confession to make: I don’t really like Blade Runner. I’m sorry. I have tried, trust me, I even own a DVD copy of the 1992 Director’s Cut of Ridley Scott’s cult neo-noir classic set in a futuristic Los Angeles 2019. In recent memory, I have watched it at least three times, but the film draaaags at such an exasperating and dreary pace, and the visuals – for all their atmospheric merit – are marred by dystopian grime. The whole experience feels dirty and dated and it has never engaged me.
12A – 137mins – 2017 – 3D
TEMPORAL SPACE AGENT
Based on Pierre Christin and Jean-Claude Mézières’ pulp comic book series Valérian and Laureline which lasted a monumental 44 years from 1966-2010, it is clear that acclaimed director Luc Besson sees this epic science fiction adaptation as his grandiose Avatar moment. Intricately designed and packed full of more CGI than all three Star Wars prequels combined, sadly this is less a return to his The Fifth Element success and more a John Carter-sized flop.
12A – 141mins – 2017 – 3D
APE-POCALPYSE NOW
In my time as webmaster of The CR@Bpendium, I have noticed that a guilty tendency of mine is to lavish blockbuster sequels in franchises I adore with 5-star ratings. The Force Awakens and Rogue One, for instance, were always destined to be looked upon kindly by me, a long-time Star Wars fan. Yet more casual movie watchers may recognise issues, however minor, with both films which would impede a perfect score in the eyes of the general public.
U – 90mins – 2017 – 3D
GRU GONE GOOD
Happily married to Lucy (Kristen Ghostbusters Wiig) and living a respectable life as a father to his three adopted girls, former supervillain Gru (Steve Carell) is now a top agent for the Anti-Villain League. But when new blood takes over the AVL, Gru and Lucy find themselves thrown to the curb for failing to apprehend former child-star-turned-jewel-thief Balthazar Bratt (Trey Parker). Will reuniting with his long-lost twin brother, Dru (also Carell), see Gru back on a path to heroism, or will Dru coerce him to return to his shady past?
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