Baby Driver (Cinema Review)

15 – 113mins – 2017

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THE FAULT IN OUR EARS

Baby (Ansel The Fault In Our Stars Elgort) is a talented getaway driver who relies upon the beat of his iPod soundtrack to drown out his tinnitus and focus his acute reflexes behind the wheel. In debt to heist mastermind Doc (Kevin Spacey) for a mistake he made in his youth, Baby is counting down the jobs until his slate is clear and he can start a new, clean life with the girl of his dreams, Deborah (Lily James). Unfortunately, Doc has other ideas for his blessed go-to driver, but will this next robbery be one job too far?

DOCTOR WHO, 10.10 – “The Eaters of Light” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:35pm – Saturday 17^th June 2017

Written by: Rona Munro

Directed by: Charles Palmer

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DEATH BY SCOTLAND

It strains credulity to belief it has taken this long, but with episode 10.10, screenwriter Rona Munro became the first person to scribe an episode of the original ‘classic’ series (1989’s concluding “Survival” serial) and new Who. The oldest adventure I have seen in its entirity is the 1996 TV Movie (which I reviewed HERE), so I have no context for how “The Eaters of Light” compares to Munro’s earlier in-universe effort, but to the casual fan last Saturday’s romp in time was pretty much business as usual for the Doctor (Peter Capaldi) and his cohorts.

The Book of Henry (Cinema Review)

12A – 105mins – 2017

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QUALITY NOT GUARANTEED

After his 2014 indie sleeper hit won him critical acclaim, debuting director Colin Trevorrow was catapulted direct to the major league by being granted the keys to Steven Spielberg’s resurrected dino-franchise. Jurassic World proved such a monster smash (becoming the fourth highest grossing film OF ALL TIME) that Lucasfilm trusted him to close out their Star Wars sequel trilogy.

Transformers: The Last Knight (Cinema Review)

12A – 149mins – 2017 – 3D

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PIECE OF SCRAP

I know it’s lazy to deride Michael Bay’s bloated brigade of big ‘bot battle blockbusters, but boy is this fifth Transformers film a rotten piece of shit! I realise that isn’t a very erudite (or polite) way to kickstart a review, but I’m not editing it for two reasons: Firstly, multi-millionaire Bay, producers Paramount and Hasbro Studios won’t care what The CR@Bpendium thinks of their gallizion dollar expanded-universe franchise – people will still turn out in droves. Secondly, given the amount of bad language that litters this light-hearted adapted-from-toys summer sequel, apparently kids are down with the swearz these days, too?! So the shit stays where it is.

DOCTOR WHO, 10.9 – “Empress of Mars” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:35pm – Saturday 10^th June 2017

Written by: Mark Gatiss

Directed by: Wayne Yip

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THE WAY OF THE WARRIOR

“Sod this for a game of soldiers!”

My overdue run of current series Doctor Who reviews rattles on with this historical military altercation – set in the caverns beneath the surface of the Red Planet! “Empress of Mars” is the first episode in a month not to feature the audience-dividing alien Monks (my opinions on which can be read by clicking 10.6, 10.7 and 10.8), and it sees a sharp step backwards in assimilating gormless assistant Nardole (Matt Lucas) into the main body of the story.

Churchill (Cinema Review)

PG – 98mins – 2017

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THE MAN WHO’LL LEAD US THROUGH

“Why don’t you just have me stuffed?”

Never far from bowker hat, circular specs and a large cigar, Brian Cox gets the look and mannerisms of the man who lead our country through some of its darkest days down pat. Miranda Richardson is suitably unflappable with sympathetic-yet-steely support as his exasperated wife, Clementine. But Churchill isn’t solely a celebratory look back at Britain’s greatest Prime Minister. Set in the days leading up to the Allied Force’s D-Day landings in Normandy, historian Alex von Tunzelmann’s script empathises the frailties both physical and mental crippling the man behind the legend.

THE HANDMAID’S TALE, 1.4 – “Nolite Te Bastardes Carborundorum” (TV Review)

Channel 4 – 9pm – Sunday 18^th June 2017

Written by: Leila Gerstein

Series created by: Bruce Miller – Based on the novel by: Margaret Atwood

Directed by: Mike Barker

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THE SOUND OF GLASS

“How did you survive her?”

Isolated to her room for 13 days after bursting Selena Joy’s (Yvonne Strahovski) pregnancy bubble by getting her “monthly woe” in “Late” (reviewed HERE) last week, a cabin fevered Offred (Elisabeth Moss) takes to laying in her cupboard, wherein she discovers the Latin phrase which this fourth episode is named after, scratched into the wall. Believing it to be written by her predecessor in the Waterford house, Offred is determined to find a translation to the antiquated message and decipher the meaning.

My Cousin Rachel (Cinema Review)

12A – 106mins – 2017

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YOU BEFORE ME

Orphaned as a child and raised by his older cousin, Philip Ashley (Sam Me Before You Claflin) remains in written communication with his guardian when sickness calls for Ambrose (also Claflin) to sojourn to warmer climes in the winter. Ambrose informs Philip that while in Italy he has met and swiftly fallen in love with Rachel (Rachel Youth Weisz), a cousin to them both, whom he marries. But worrying insinuations and a despairing tone to Ambrose’s letters perturbs Philip, who journeys out to Florence expecting to find his frail caregiver at the behest of a beastly gold-digger.

Diana (DVD Review)

12 – 108mins – 2013

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QUEEN OF HEARTS

A few years ago, before I had watched The Queen, Stephen Frears’ Academy Award-winning film about the monarchy’s reaction to the death of Princess Diana, I tried to blag my way through a discussion about it with an acquaintance who I knew had a high-brow taste in films. “It’s a serviceable drama,” I blagged, “but it plays like a TV movie.” This fabricated nugget came from my vague memory of hearing a critic make a similar derogatory comment. Plus, I knew the Peter Morgan-scripted piece of speculative fiction was produced by Granada (A.K.A. ITV). “And what’s so wrong with a TV movie?” my acquaintance shot back. I was stumped; ruse unravelled.

DOCTOR WHO, 10.8 – “The Lie of the Land” (TV Review)

BBC One – 7:35pm – Saturday 3^rd June 2017

Written by: Toby Whithouse

Directed by: Wayne Yip

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FAKE NEWS CENTRAL

“Humanity is doomed to never learn from its mistakes.”

One downfall of being tardy to the party with watching a programme as popular and hotly-debated as Doctor Who is that unless I avoid twitter for the weekend, I will invariably end up with a rough consensus of the public’s opinion of each episode, a week before I see it. Combining the cool general response to “The Lie of the Land” with my own inauspicious reaction to “The Pyramid at the End of the World” (10.7), it’s fair to say my excitement for this finale to the Monk’s trilogy was somewhat subdued.